Missing You

I'm missing you today. Sometimes I feel like I must be crazy because of the things that pop into my mind. I made lunch and wondered what you were having for lunch, I wondered if you were thinking of me at that moment. On cloudy days like today I watch the clouds head north towards you and I close my eyes and send you my love, hoping it will reach you.

You called me last week and left a message on the machine because we were out. I saved it and I listen to it everyday. Sometimes I just rewind the last 10 seconds to hear your goodbye "I will talk to you later okay baby, I love you, bye"

So yes, I do know how nice it is just to hear your voice on the answering machine. I make a little wish every night that I will hear your voice the next day, sometimes I get my wish, sometimes I don't. It does break my heart a little bit when I don't, I can't even try to lie about that.

I know you'll never read this and it doesn't really matter because I could never tell you I feel like this. I could never put you through that hurt. I know it would break your heart to know how much I cry when your gone. I try so very hard to stay strong for you and the boys because in reality it isn't that long. I just miss you, I just miss my best friend being here. I miss holding your hand as we fall asleep. I miss waking up to your kiss, I even miss how grouchy you are until you get out of bed and really wake up. I just miss you terribly.